Wordiness
Wordiness means saying something in more words than necessary. It reduces clarity, increases reader effort, and weakens the impact of a message. Concise writing requires identifying and removing the four main types of wordiness during the editing stage.
“Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences.” — Strunk & White, The Elements of Style
How It Appears Per Course
ADMN 233
Covered in Communication for Business II (Ametros simulation), in the Professional Communication certification under “Writing Consciously.” Directly tested — mechanics practice exercises required identifying and rewriting wordy passages.
The Four Types of Wordiness
graph TD W[Wordiness] --> R[Redundancy] W --> I[Unnecessary Intensifiers] W --> S[Stretching Phrases] W --> T[Thick Words] R --> R1["Multiple words\nsaying the same thing"] I --> I1["Words that increase\nstrength for no reason"] S --> S1["Little words that add\nquantity, not meaning"] T --> T1["Unusual/archaic words\nfew people use in speech"]
1. Redundancy
Using multiple words that say the same thing — the extra word adds no meaning.
| Wordy | Concise | Why |
|---|---|---|
| ”circled around the airport" | "circled the airport" | "circle” already means to go around |
| ”fully prepared and competent" | "competent” or “prepared” | both mean the same thing |
| ”new, fresh ideas" | "new ideas” | new and fresh are synonyms here |
2. Unnecessary Intensifiers
Words that increase the strength of meaning for no reason — the reader can’t visualize a meaningful difference.
Common intensifiers to cut: very · honestly · really · totally · absolutely · certainly
| Wordy | Concise |
|---|---|
| ”The dog is very ugly." | "The dog is ugly." |
| "Certainly, this is the right approach." | "This is the right approach.” |
3. Stretching Phrases
Combinations of small, innocent-looking words that add quantity but not quality. Often includes words ending in -y used as filler.
| Stretching phrase | Replace with |
|---|---|
| ”in order to" | "to" |
| "at this point in time" | "now" |
| "the kind of” / “sort of” | cut entirely |
| ”make certain that" | "ensure" |
| "take immediate steps to" | "immediately” |
4. Thick Words
Difficult, archaic, or formal words that few people use in everyday speech. They weigh down sentences and signal showing off rather than communicating.
| Thick word | Plain alternative |
|---|---|
| heretofore | previously / until now |
| herein | here / in this |
| whereby | by which / how |
| aforementioned | the / this |
How to Find Wordiness
Work through your draft looking for each type in sequence:
- Redundancy: Are any two words saying the same thing?
- Intensifiers: Can you delete any word ending in -y or words like “very,” “really”?
- Stretching phrases: Can any multi-word phrase be replaced with one word?
- Thick words: Would you say this word out loud in normal conversation?
Key Points for Exam/Study
- Four types: Redundancy · Unnecessary Intensifiers · Stretching Phrases · Thick Words
- Wordiness is a content/editing issue — addressed in the Revising step of the writing process
- Intensifiers often end in -y: honestly, really, totally, absolutely
- Stretching phrases add words, not meaning: “in order to” = “to”
- Thick words = archaic vocabulary not used in everyday speech
- The goal is conciseness: cut anything that can be cut (see also the 4 Cs of editing in WritingProcess)
Cross-Course Connections
WritingProcess — wordiness is removed during the Revising step (editing: the “Concise” C)
CQualities — Wordiness is the primary enemy of C Quality #4 (Concise); the 8 Cs reading adds five sub-techniques: no repetition, no tangents, don’t tell what they know, cut lead-in phrases, favour short sentences/paragraphs
Argument — overly wordy arguments obscure premises and conclusions, reducing clarity and cogency